I think you have noticed how media plays the role of Cassandra about having kids. Once kids come along you will become unhappy, you don’t get any sleep and your relationship suffers. These are some of the reasons why a lot of the young people have decided that they don’t want kids.
In my opinion people, who don’t want any kids, have made a huge mistake. Their vision of parenthood is far from the truth. Because when something requires a lot of work, it is definitely worth it. Now, I will tell you a story.
We had visitors today. They really liked our home especially how the rooms feel so spacious. I’m also very happy with our home, but at the same time I though all the tears, sweat and cry this beautifully decorated house required.
Before we bought this house, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment. Actually, four persons were living there for 2,5 years. All this time we were looking for a bigger house to buy. For months I was so desperate and sometimes I thought that I was going crazy. We had been in dozens of open houses, but none of them were the right one for us. This also affected our relationship and not in a good way. No one had their own space.
Sometimes it’s worth taking a risk
Now when people see our home, they think that, of course, such a house like this was worth to buy. But how many would really dare to buy a pig in a poke? How could a decision, which seemed so daring and reckless, be possible? The answer is because we have been in those dozens of open houses.
Little by little I learned to recognize the houses suitable for our needs, only from the floor plan and squares. We had been in so many open houses that we knew that a house like this would be sold at maximum price immediately. I knew all the biggest renovations that this house would require and how much they would cost. Because of all these things I had learned, I knew that this house was the one we were looking for. And if we wanted this house, we had to make an offer before the first open house.
One surprise was the decoration. It was the opposite we had hoped for. Well, whatever. We took one wall down and removed the floor, which weighted in total 1500kg and we did it all with our own hands. And then I carried in and installed the same amount of floor again. We painted everything including sauna, bathroom, toilet and every 55 doors of the closets and drawers and also the boards of the balcony. There was a lot of work, and actually it’s not completely done yet. And at the same time, we had to take care of our children obviously.
"- Having the house ready on a silver platter could have been nice, but now I’m so proud of us and have a better self-confidence –all of this is earned”
Guess what? I would never be so happy with this house if I hadn’t done all of this work by myself. I knew nothing about renovating, but after all, I have been able to do something so amazing!
If somebody had wrote about our house project, it would have been a horror story. A story about stress, despair, the lack of space and endless struggle to find a home in the overwhelming housing market in Helsinki. Because that sells.
However, when you look the outcome, you might think something like this: wonderful, roomy, full of light with spectacular views which is just perfect for a family with children. This is the reason you should never stop trying. Things will work out if you want so. Sometimes you may need a timeout and maybe even another one, but it will be worth it!
"- Things that require a lot of work are definitely worth it."
Experiences bring richness to family life
If somebody writes an article how we raise our kids, it would be something like this: difficult labor, many sleepless nights, a water damage, asthma, fights, many emergency department visits, one dangerous surgery et cetera. However, I see all of this completely differently. I have two wonderful children with mesmerizing personalities. A husband, who helps me with the kids. I’m surrounded with lovely people. An own tribe to belong, the continuity of generations. Because all of this, my life experience has shaped me into the person I am today. I have learned to appreciate things which used to be self-evident.
Things always have two sides. You and me both choose all the time, which one to believe and which one to share. If you already have children or if you have worked hard for something, you know these things already. Things, which requires a lot of work are the things you should invest in life. Because the outcome is definitely worth it! Raising kids isn’t always a bed of roses – or it is just that with all the horns. Children bring joy, laughter and living in the moment to your life right here and right now.
Any opinions? Please share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below!
The writer is Hanna Sissala, who is mother for two kids and the founder of Lullame